Bathing Suits!

Let's have a talk about swimwear with asymmetric breasts.  For those of you with this problem, you know how difficult shopping for a bathing suit can be.  I'm here to tell you it doesn't HAVE to be as bad as it may have been before.  I'm not going to tell you that these tips will solve all of your problems, but I'm going to give you some ideas and tips that might make shopping a little easier.  Now, I'm NOT going to be biased and insensitive toward any body type, so please don't dismiss what I'm going to say automatically if one suggestion doesn't apply to you.  

When I was younger, I always went shopping with my mom for clothes.  Swimwear was especially hard for us to shop for, because I was really struggling with breast asymmetry and incredibly low self-esteem.  I can vividly remember one evening when my mom had taken me to the mall to shop for a new bathing suit.  We had gone to EVERY store in there, except Pacific Sunwear, and in a last-ditch attempt to make this trip a successful one, we stopped in to see what they had.  They were pricey, to say the least, but my mom didn't want to see me continue to hurt the way I did, so we shopped around.  We told the woman who was working about my situation, and she was SO helpful.  For the rest of my life, I'll always remember the blonde haired girl who brought every bathing suit in the store to my dressing room, and refused to give up until we found two swimsuits that made me feel comfortable and confident.  That was one of the first times I'd ever cried tears of joy with respect to my breast asymmetry. 

One-piece bathing suits are somewhat harder to shop for, but so many advancements have been made in the lining and construction of swimwear these days, that they have become so much more asymmetry-friendly!  When it comes to a one-piece, the big thing is making sure that YOU have the ability to control how tight (or loose) you are adjusting the "straps" to be.  One-piece suits that look like the type the Olympic swimmers wear are not good for asymmetry.  Those types of bathing suits almost highlight asymmetry, and that's not what we're going for.  Try to find a one-piece that has straps like a bra.  This gives you the freedom to be able to adjust the straps so that your larger breast can be lifted more than the other.  Another thing to look into is bathing suits that tie around the back of the neck like a halter top.  I currently am doing physical therapy in a one-piece that is like this.  Another thing to look for is a one-piece that is structured inside like a bra.  Some have padding inside them, and others actually adjust in the back.  Fabric patterns/designs across the breast also help distract from asymmetry, so that may also be useful.  Many, now, create almost a wave from one breast to another (I'll show you a picture of a TRAGIC two piece I put together that has this pattern later on). If you're insecure about your weight, mid-section, or thighs/hips, you might try looking into a one-piece with a skirt on it.  Also, try to find one with some ruching around the tummy, as this will help create a slimmer mid-section.  There are TONS of one-piece bathing suits out there that have side supports in the breast area as well as along the mid-section.  This is incredibly helpful for getting an hourglass figure!

When it comes to two-piece bathing suits, there's a little more selection for tops that allow you to adjust them to your own liking.  Bikini tops that are padded and look almost identical to a bra are very useful for hiding asymmetry.  It's already structured like a bra, and that's something you're accustomed to adjusting to hide your breast issues, so the exact same concept translates over into your bathing suit.  This is also available in a tankini type.  Again, you're going to want to look for things that are padded, or give you room to adjust yourself, or both.  I, actually, prefer to get padded bikinis that I can tie on my own.  Just your standard, good old-fashioned triangle bikini tops with tons of padding give me the ability to tighten one side up more, thus lifting my larger/natural breast.  I also have the ability to adjust how tight it is around my ribs.  This, to me, is crucial.  If this part is too loose, the entire bathing suit will fall down, thus any difference in your neck adjustments will be useless.  You want to make sure your bikini is snug to your rib cage.  I've long gotten past people looking at my scars on my chest, so it doesn't bother me to wear something like this.  I definitely don't have the figure to pull it off by ANY means, but I've come to terms with who I am, and if someone doesn't like it, they can look the other way.  Bikini tops that are the bandeau type are also helpful for creating the illusion of a symmetric chest-line, however, the greater the difference you have in the size of your breasts, the less helpful this style will be unless you incorporate the strap that goes with it.  Usually bandeau bikini tops have a pack of straps that come with them to either hook on like a bra, or use one to go around your neck (similar to a halter top).  Again, it will depend upon the severity of your asymmetry if that style is comfortable for you.

As I had mentioned earlier, I'll include a picture of me taken by my boyfriend when we went to Kentucky this past October.  There was a swimming pool and hot tub in the hotel, and I was so excited to go for a swim.  However, I walked off and left my bathing suit at my house.  So, we had to go to Wal-Mart that evening and hunt their heavily picked over clearance racks for a swimsuit to wear.  Unfortunately there was not a single matching bathing suit anywhere in the store, and the two pieces of a bikini that I could piece together looked like the Miami Sound Machine had exploded in front of me.  The reason I'm sharing this picture is to show you the style of top that best works for me.  I'm able to adjust the tightness around my ribs, I'm able to adjust my larger/natural breast more by tightening the strap around the neck, and the pattern across the chest (a wave almost) helps distract from my asymmetry.  I know I don't have the figure to be wearing this swimsuit, but I'm comfortable in my own skin, and I think every woman should be, too!   My right breast is an implant, and my left breast is natural.  You can see the skin graft on my right thigh (the larger spot) that was used to recreate my nipple, and there are subsequently 6 other scars in that same area (some really red) from my recent hip surgeries.  Please ignore the crutches in the background, and the obvious look of humiliation and disgust on my face.  That swimsuit was a monstrosity. LOL

Bras For Beautiful Boobies!

Let's talk about the BRA!  For women with breast asymmetry, bra shopping can be the most awful experience in the world.  IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE!  

If your breasts are uneven by a little, or by a lot, there's always a way to make the difference less noticeable.  For me, shopping at Victoria's Secret has been a HUGE blessing, however their prices are pretty high.  Target's line of bras called Gilligan and O'Malley are almost the SAME bras found at Victoria's Secret.  I prefer Victoria's Secret or Gilligant and O'Malley only because they heavily pad some of their bras, have a wide selection of bras, and make good, long-lasting bras.  I'm a 36D, so finding a bra can be a challenge when you're asymmetric, but here are some tips that have helped change my life!

I'm not against stuffing a bra by any means, but I was never comfortable doing it for myself.  I knew it would be my luck that my padding would somehow find a way to slide to my back or something and draw more attention to my already obvious problems. LOL There are pads/stuffings available at retailers that can be used to enhance the size of the smaller breasts, thus making it more even with the larger breast.  When using these, it wouldn't hurt to use some double-sided tape to hold the padding down in the bra, and maybe also holding the padding to the skin, just so that the padding doesn't move and make the wearer uncomfortable.  The goal of padding a bra is to make YOU more comfortable in your skin.  Take into consideration the shape of your other breast in the bra when you're applying padding/stuffing.  You may need to pad the front of the cup, but also the side of the cup to make your contours and curves match.  You want to create a breast that is as full as your other breast.  Do not be bashful about spending an hour or two in your mirror with padding, bras, tape, and t-shirts.  You have to be comfortable with how you're doing it, and make sure it looks even once you've put your clothing on.  

Another thing that you'll want to take into consideration, regardless of the degree of asymmetry you're dealing with, is the strap adjusters on the bras.  Your strap adjusters do not have to be even!  You have the liberty to adjust one bra strap much tighter than the other!  I do this daily!  I keep my natural and larger breast lifted higher to match my implanted breast by tightening the strap more.  

Also consider the way the bra is shaped in the middle.  Now, for people with larger degrees of asymmetry, this can be a HUGE issue.  I ALWAYS get a padded bra with an underwire.  The piece of fabric between the two underwires plays a crucial role in how my breasts may look throughout the day.  If it's just one very small piece of fabric, the bra will actually be allowed to tilt at an angle, thus allowing one cup to lean forward more.  (Picture it by holding your hands straight up and allowing just one of your wrists to go a little bit limp so it falls about 30 degrees.)  Purchasing a bra with more support between the breasts/underwires will help eliminate that leaning and make the breasts look more even.  (Bra shown below is a Gilligan and O'malley Balconnette bra that I absolutely love.  This bra provides so much support, and I don't get one boob leaning a lot more than the other.)

I am an avid believer that every bra should be padded!  I will not buy a bra that is not a well-padded push-up bra.  The padding holding the breasts up can create the illusion of symmetric breasts.  Coupled with most of the aforementioned tips, a push-up bra has helped hide my asymmetry for many, many years.  I'm all about showing a little cleavage from time-to-time as well, so having breasts that appear symmetric from a frontal view can make a woman feel confident and beautiful!  For me, a demi-cup (one that doesn't fully cover each breast to the maximum) has always been the most comfortable, because it does allow for a little cleavage if I want it, and also gives me more room to work with and isn't so constricting.  

If there is ANYTHING else you'd like to know about bras, don't hesitate to post a question!  Bra shopping doesn't have to be horrible!  I'll do whatever I can do help make your experience a more enjoyable one!  

My Story

As a pre-teen/teenager I began to notice my right breast was larger and shaped differently from my left breast.  I did my best to hide it in my clothing, but the problem continued to get worse.  I told my mother about it, who immediately contacted my doctor, and thus began the events that would make me who I am today.  

In school I was taunted for having uneven breasts, and I was horribly insecure about myself.  I was chubby, short, and lopsided.  I did what I could to hide the issue by wearing baggy clothes, wearing hoodies, and praying gym class would end early.  None of these things, however, worked to end my shame over the problem.  When my mother would take me shopping for new clothes, it was a trip we both dreaded.  Trying on clothes was a heart-wrenching experience that ended in tears every time.  No matter how many tops I tried on, I could still see my uneven breasts.  There were times that my mother would say, "Danielle, nobody can see it but you. That shirt hides it!" I never believed her; I could see the difference plain as day in the mirror.  Bathing suit season was a dreaded time of year for me, because I had to find something to hide a glaringly obvious malformation, while still feeling attractive in my bathing suit.  Everything had to be padded to help hide how uneven I was, and I preferred something that I could tie or adjust tighter on one side than the other.  Bra shopping was the same sort of headache.  By this point I'd started shrugging one shoulder up higher than the other to make my breasts look even, and I'd thrown out the alignment of my spine.  My doctor, my parents, and myself agreed that it was time to take action.  The best breast surgeon in the area was contacted, and his credentials and accomplishments seemed to be a mile long.  We decided that surgery was the way to go, and I'd never been more excited in my life. 

When I was 14 years old, I underwent a unilateral breast reduction on my right side.  I had one breast that was a B cup, while the other was nearly a D cup.  This reduction was supposed to fix the problem, but for me it did not.  After I'd woken up from surgery, I was in pain, but I was excited to feel "normal," but little did I know that feeling would be short-lived.  The doctor came in to remove my bandages and drain tube, and there was a look on his face that, in hindsight, foreshadowed the events that would follow.  He looked at my nipple that he had reattached, and seemed concerned, but dismissed our questions and reassured us that everything was fine.  While recovering at home, I'd started to get through the horrendous pain of a reduction, and started to resume life as normal.  He had reduced my right breast so that it was actually smaller than my left breast, because he felt my right breast would continue to grow.  Because the asymmetry was somewhat gone, I was the most excited girl in the world!  However, about two weeks after surgery, my nipple was black, and I was taken back to the surgeon for some terrible news.  The blood vessels had not reconnected, and my nipple was dying, so it would need to be removed before gangrene became an issue.  I was back in surgery within two days, and my nipple was removed.  I was released from the hospital with a large, open wound where a nipple had been, and a nurse would come to the house every day to do internal packing.  I was shattered and scared, but somehow in good spirits that everything would turn out okay.  I can actually remember joking with my nurses and talking to them about the Backstreet Boys (my most favorite musical group at the time lol).  One week after my nipple was removed, the doctor took a skin graft from my right thigh to recreate a nipple for me.  He took the chunk of grafted skin and, more or less, just slapped it on and called it a day.  My breast was completely flat on the front, and while I was still uncomfortable with how I looked, I was still excited that the asymmetry was less noticeable.  

As my body healed more, my scars became extremely pronounced.  I had developed keloids throughout most of my scarred area.  In some areas, the keloids were nearly a half inch thick.  On my thigh, where the skin graft was taken, my scar is still about a quarter of an inch thick.  My breasts had started to grow again, but now the right breast wasn't growing much at all.  I felt devastated.  

At the age of 18, I'd found a new plastic surgeon who would be able to help me get a small implant and do reconstructive surgery on my breast to make it look more normal.  My parents, however, couldn't afford the surgery, and my insurance didn't view it as medically necessary.  Through good fortune and consistent nagging of the insurance company, a doctor had donated a breast implant to me, and the insurance agreed to pay for the rest.  So, at the ripe old age of 18, I had many of my keloids removed from my chest, got an implant put in under the muscle, and had my "nipple" reconstructed to look more like a nipple.  Though the nipple reconstruction didn't take as well as they'd hoped, I'm pleased with the fact that I'm more even than I ever was before (but I'm still not all that even).  I make jokes about having one nipple, I always say I have the best of both worlds with one implant and one natural breast, and I'm not ashamed to wear a bikini in the summer that doesn't cover my scars.  

When people ask me about what happened, I usually just try to sum up my cause of asymmetry by saying, "I had a muscle tear."  My muscle had separated, or so the doctor had told me, but I'm not sure if that's what caused this problem.  If I had it to do all over again, I'd make the same decisions that were made at the time.  Though it was a struggle and full of heartache, it's made me who I am today, and I'm proud of that.  My mother was asked if, shortly after surgery, I'd be willing to speak to girls who had breast asymmetry, and my mother thought it was too soon for me to do something like that.  She was correct.  It took MANY years for me to be able to make jokes and be comfortable with who I am.  The woman who contacted my mom said I was one of 5 girls who were suffering from breast asymmetry that she had known of, and I was the youngest.  Later we found out that 3 of the girls had committed suicide.  I felt so bad for those girls, because this is nothing to take your life over.  It's hard, to say the least, but it's not worth letting go of your life for.  This is something that is manageable with the right kind of shopping, dressing, and thinking.  No woman, ever, should have to feel that there is no hope because of breast asymmetry.  I know the struggles, and I want to help women everywhere learn how to live with their breast asymmetry, and love who they are! 

Welcome!

My name is Danielle, and I've decided to blog about breast asymmetry because I feel there is not enough information available to women who struggle with the challenges this condition presents.  I'm currently 26 years old, and have undergone four unilateral breast augmentations, all of which were had by the age of 18.  I'm very blessed to have a family that has supported me through all of the struggles this condition has caused.  I had to learn how to shop for bras and clothing, learn how to cope with being teased, learn how to manage post-operative nerve pain, and learn to keep my sanity with nothing more than my family and some creative ideas.  In a future post I'll tell you my asymmetry story.  My goal is to get women talking about a subject that is very secretive, and to help women of all ages cope with a condition that affects their physical being.

Breasts are viewed as the epitome of womanhood, and when a woman's breasts are asymmetric, she may view herself as less of a woman or deformed.  This is not the case!  Just because one headlight doesn't shine as brightly as the other on a Rolls Royce does NOT make the car any less beautiful, valuable, or appealing.  Changing your mindset can change your life; I do, however, realize this is MUCH easier said than done.  So, that's why I want women to come here with questions, concerns, tips, ideas, and advice.  It's time to stop pretending like this subject doesn't exist.  It's time women had a place where they can talk to other women who also struggle with breast asymmetry, and not just rely on information from surgeons who are strongly biased toward operations, for obvious reasons.  Please help me make this blog a place where women can be comfortable in their own skin, realize their beauty, and learn to cope with breast asymmetry.