It's All About The Lift

When we're talking about bras, the most important aspect that women, asymmetric or not, need to understand is that the right size MATTERS.  You should NOT be running around in a bra that's not fit for you.  At this day in age, when a woman can walk into numerous different retailers and be fitted for a bra, it's almost inexcusable that women are still wearing bras that don't fit them right.  Any woman can walk into a Victoria's Secret or Lane Bryant, for example, and ask to be fitted for a bra.  They'll give you, at the very least, a starting point for what you SHOULD be wearing.  You can go from there.

Now, let's get into the nitty gritty on bras.  As I have posted before, when you're asymmetric, padding is your best friend.  The catch here is that it's not JUST about padding.  You can buy a bra that's so padded it makes Serta Pillow Top  Mattresses look like plywood, but if it's not the right fit, you're still back at square one.  So, when we're talking about SIZES here's what we're talking about: 

* The Band Size: The distance around your rib cage JUST under your breasts.

* The Cup Size:  The distance around your the center of your breasts.  The difference between the Cup Size and the Band Size will be what we're looking for.  If you measure a Band Size of 36" and a Cup Size of 40", the difference is 4" and that will correspond to a D cup bra.

Now, these measurements aren't always correct, and that's why I urge women to go to someone who is trained in how to do bra fittings.  If you'd rather do it at home, this WikiHow page and this HerRoom page do a great job of detailing the measuring process. 

You might be saying, "That's all fine and well, Danielle, but I'm asymmetric! Those measurements won't work for me!"  I hear ya!  Here's the thing: you MUST be in the proper bra size for your larger breast.  This might seem counter-intuitive, I know, but go with me here for a second.

The bulk of your bra's support should come from the BAND AROUND YOUR CHEST.  Now, as someone with asymmetry, I'm thinking, "no it shouldn't, it's the straps," but that's not the case.  You see, if your bra doesn't fit right around your ribs, then you run the risk of your bra sliding down constantly.  We can't have this.  This SHOWS asymmetry way more than you could ever imagine.  So, you have to get the right BAND size.  Now, when it comes to the cups, you have to fit to your larger breast.  HOWEVER, there's a catch to this.  I am a 34DD, but many of the 34DD bras don't work so well for me.  My implant/weirdo boob/asymmetric breast might sit nicely in a 34DD, but my natural breast is spilling out like a glass of pop that was poured too fast!  This is about the time where the panic starts to set in.  You start having that meltdown and your eyes well up with tears.  Calm down, I say!  There's a secret!  Bras have "sister sizes," which is probably the best gift to asymmetry the industry could have given.  So, let's say your larger breast doesn't like a 34DD, and you're getting some weird muffin-boob thing going on.  Try on a 36D instead!  Now, you might be saying, "I didn't measure a 36, Danielle. I measured a 34, and I'm not a D, I'm a DD. I got measured like you told me to!"  Trust me.  If you go UP one band size, but go DOWN one cup size, it's almost like the same bra!  You can go DOWN one band size and UP one cup size if you feel like the cup is too small for your breasts, too.  So, you try on a 36D and you find that you have minimized muffin-boob/spillage for your larger breast, and your smaller breast will actually look different in the cup, too.  This provides just a little more room for your smaller breast, but allows your larger breast to fit more naturally into the cup.

Let's get to the straps now, shall we?
THERE IS ONE IMPORTANT NOTE I MUST MENTION!  YOUR BRA MUST MUST MUST HAVE FULLY-ADJUSTABLE STRAPS. This means that your bra cannot have some fancy design on the front of the straps and only allow you 4" of adjustment room in the back. This will not work and will in no way help your asymmetry.  You cannot use a bra that does not have fully-adjustable straps.  Fully-adjustable means that you could take the adjuster piece all the way to the front of the bra if you wanted to.  Again, your bra MUST HAVE FULLY-ADJUSTABLE STRAPS.

Now that you've been fitted with the CORRECT SIZE bra, we can talk about how to adjust your straps.  When we were picking the bra out, we catered to the LARGER breast, now we cater to the smaller breast in some ways.  So, if you have some pretty drastic asymmetry, this part will be pretty difficult.  For DRASTIC asymmetry (2 or more cup sizes), I'll address everything at the end of this post.  Drastic asymmetry has to be handled a little differently.  Don't worry, ladies, I'll handles those breasts, too!  No breasts are left out in my blog!

Adjusting the shoulder straps on a bra is one of the most important parts of hiding breast asymmetry.  Women seem to have this really weird notion that your straps absolutely must be adjusted to the same place on each side.  Who came up with that idea?  Why is symmetry so important in bra straps?  Your breasts aren't symmetric, so why do you think your straps need to be?  If you want to hide your asymmetry, you need to THROW THAT IDEA OUT THE WINDOW.  Do it. Right now. Throw it out.  Ok, now that it's gone, we can start fresh.  Everyone wants perky breasts.  Nobody has ever seen National Geographic-like boobs and said, "I want those!"  It's just never happened.

My Biggest Pet Peeve: STOP BUYING GREAT BRAS AND IMPROPERLY ADJUSTING THEM. YOUR BREASTS SHOULDN'T SAG IN A GOOD QUALITY $50 BRA! THERE IS NOTHING FLATTERING ABOUT BREASTS THAT DRAG THE FLOOR OR COVER YOUR BELLY BUTTON.  

Back when physics was discovered, mankind used physics to make the simple tasks of living far more enhanced.  The wheel was invented, levers and pulleys were utilized, gravity was fought with might and valor, and buildings that reached the heavens were erected and supported.  Somewhere along the way a bra was invented.  The first bra was weird, and really didn't serve any real purpose for support.

We now, however, have amazing bras with amazing support, and we have used the beautiful world of physics to start making our breasts defy gravity.  When I enter a room, I always want my breasts to enter before I do.  I want them to greet the people in the room with a friendly smile, and I want my breasts to be as though a halo of beauty entered the room.  While this is completely unrealistic and just a figment of my imagination, there is some reality to it.  When people see YOU, they also see your breasts.  Now, if you hide your asymmetry well, they'll never notice a thing.  However, that doesn't mean if you hide your asymmetry and you still have those mammary mounds hanging low that people won't notice that.  When you have asymmetry, you generally are self-conscious about it (it will go away eventually) and don't want to draw any attention (negative or positive) to your breasts.  Bras not worn right attract negative attention.  Period.

This brings me back to my original point: ADJUSTING YOUR STRAPS.  Here we need to cater, somewhat, to the smaller breast.  Adjust that strap so that the breast is supported, but not so much that it's actually pulling the cup/band/bra upwards and your breast is falling out the bottom.  This should never happen. Ever.  Allow the smaller breast to be comfortable in the bra, but you do not want it to sag.  You do not want to feel like you have to keep pulling your bra strap back into your shoulder, either.  Bra straps shouldn't wander.  Once your smaller breast is where it should be, it's time to adjust your larger breast.  Start by bringing the adjustment on the strap to the same place your smaller breast is adjusted to.  This is important because you have to have them equal first to adjust from there.  More than likely your larger breast is heavier than your smaller breast, which means you will have some sagging when they're adjusted to the same spot.  This is good to note.  You should be able to see how much lower the larger breast sags, and that sag is the distance we need to cover.  Start to bring the adjustment on your strap of the larger breast towards the top.  Do this in slow increments and adjust your breast within the cup each and every time.  Do not just lift up the adjuster, and leave your breast as it is.  You must pick it up and adjust it back in the cup properly.  Keep adjusting until the vast majority of the sag difference in the cup is changed.  Now bring your attention to the cleavage of the bra.  Make sure that if you were to wear a low-cut shirt that your breast fullness looks even.  If you feel that your smaller breast looks more full than your larger breast, start bringing that strap up more.  Keep in mind, you can always place an insert into the cup of the smaller breast to fill it out more, and the insert can always be placed under the smaller breast to give it more lift/fullness.  Fullness is a huge part of hiding asymmetry.  You want your breasts to look equally just as full.  Once you get the straps where the breasts look equally just as full, put your shirt on and see if everything looks good.  Keep in mind that you know you're asymmetric.  The rest of the world doesn't.  They aren't going to notice a minor difference like you will.  Sometimes it's helpful to put a safety pin in your strap just under the adjuster to keep them in place, as they can sometimes slip back down, or mark your strap in some way so you know where to adjust it to.  Bras will settle and stretch and relax over time, so you will always have to adjust them again. 

For the women with drastic asymmetry:

Really, not that much will change here.  If you're dealing with a 2 cup or more difference, the biggest thing that you'll likely need to do is use an insert.  If you've purchased for your larger breast, which you should, and it's, for example, a D cup, and your smaller breast is only a B cup, you can still make this work.  My recommendation for drastic asymmetry is to buy a bra that has only moderate padding and isn't too much of a push-up.  This allows you to actually use a push-up pad in the cup of your smaller breast to make the breast appear to be just as full as your larger breast.  It's all about tricking the eyes, ladies.  Make sure the smaller breast is padded on the UNDER side of the cup to provide lift and support, then fill the front of the cup with any additional padding as needed.  Some bras have the ability to easily remove the padding, but I wouldn't recommend removing too much padding from the larger breast, because one being held in a thin cup and one being in a padded cup is a noticeable difference.  You'll adjust your straps just the same, and not much will change except how you deal with your smaller breast.  Here, you might want to try "sister sizes" as well, maybe even adjusting by either two band and cup sizes, IF it works for you.  Not all bras will work by two size adjustments.  (Example: If you should be a 36D, going to a 32DDD, or maybe even to a 40B. Again this, more often than not, doesn't work well, but I have seen it work for some women. It will be specific to the store and their product line.  Again, remember, the most important part of support is the BAND under your breasts and not the straps.  You want to make sure that you're still correctly fitting yourself so that way your larger breast doesn't just start wandering around like a dog off the leash.  You don't want a boob peeking out from under your bra for some fresh air. That's never been flattering, and I can say that from personal experience.  I've had it happen to me! 

While right now I'm only asymmetric by about a cup size, my biggest problem with my current asymmetry is that my implant does not sit right, and it wants to wander.  However, I can speak from personal experience on even drastic asymmetry, as I had a nearly two and a half cup size difference for a good part of my life.  I'm not speaking about breasts as an outsider putting her two cents in, I'm speaking to you ladies as someone who has HAS these problems, and as someone who has FOUND SOLUTIONS to these problems.

Keep those breasts looking beautiful!  

The Hidden Part Of Asymmetry Nobody Talks About: The Mental And Emotional Stress

I've spent my entire adult life hiding my asymmetry from the world, and I've done so fairly well.  However, just under the surface there lies a tormenting secret about breast asymmetry: it's mentally and emotionally stressful.

Again, my story with breast asymmetry began before I was 14 years old (I had my first surgery at age 14).  This is a time of a girl's life when she's going through puberty, developing her sexuality, dealing with the weird social dramas of school, and, of course, totally wanting the cutest boy in the school to ask her out.  When you're struggling with breast asymmetry, especially at such a young age, it's almost as if you have a dark cloud hanging over your development.  Now, let's just be honest and forthcoming.  The pre-teen and teenage years are the most awful years for any female, asymmetric or not!  The added stress of uneven breasts doesn't help make things any easier, though.  

Many women, young and old, will relate to what I'm about to write, but this next part is designed for the enlightenment of the friends and family of those afflicted with breast asymmetry.  

When your daughter, sister, friend, etc. is struggling with this boob burden, try to understand what it's like from their side.  The very thing that, upon first impressions, identifies you as a female to the world is deformed.  Your femininity feels challenged, and you do what you can to hide it.  You're insanely self-conscious about people noticing your asymmetry, so you alter your attire, or even your posture, to keep your secret safe.  You almost feel afraid to draw attention to yourself, because then people look at you more and may notice your breasts are uneven.  You feel singled out and lesser than others.  The beautiful girls with even breasts are the ones that will get the attention of the males, and even if you are getting male attention, you're so afraid they'll reject you because of your secret, that you don't even notice their interest in you.  You feel almost as if you're unlovable.  Intimacy becomes a major fear.  How can you be intimate with someone when you'll have to provide an explanation about this huge shock they're in for when your shirt comes off?  You can't just go to the store and grab a cute shirt.  You can't just say, "ohh I want that swimsuit!"  You won't be the girl wearing no bra and a revealing evening gown at any point.  You are afraid to change in the locker room at school.  You don't think you'll ever feel sexy in lingerie.  You feel like Quasimodo, to be honest.  You think that every single time someone is looking at you, they're noticing your breasts.  

And even though it's unrealistic, untrue, and self-destroying, these are just the things you feel on a daily basis.  However, I'm here to tell you that it's all NOT TRUE.  

I was certain that everyone in my high school knew that I had uneven breasts.  I was picked on by several people, but for the most part, I just assumed it was an unspoken knowledge that I, Danielle, was the weirdo with the strange boobs.  As I got older and become more open about my story, it turns out that the entire school did NOT know about my asymmetry, and for the most part, those who did know, DIDN'T CARE.  I realized that all of these feelings of self-loathing were absurd.  Not every person you meet in life is going to be kind and docile.  Yeah, there will always be people who will make fun of you, but you have to brush it off.  In the end, that teasing and embarrassment only makes you stronger.  Those who cave to being taunted and teased are allowing their weakness to get the best of them, and they're letting their bullies know that their self-worth is derived from the people around them.  That should never be the case.  Even if your breast got lobbed off in some horrifying breast-cutting-off accident, that doesn't change who you are.  It can help SHAPE who you BECOME, but it won't just change you overnight.  You'll still like your favorite TV shows, you'll still like your favorite books.  You'll still think that guy with the glasses and the cute smile in your math class is really kinda cute in a geeky sort of way.  Don't cheat yourself from the opportunity to develop yourself and grow into someone beautiful and successful just because you were self-conscious.  Start trying on hundreds of different bras, even if it means breaking down and crying in the dressing room of Victoria's Secret because you're so frustrated.  Try on everything until you just can't take it anymore (then pick up where you left off the next day!), or until you find a bra that hides your asymmetry.  DO NOT QUIT ON YOURSELF.  Who cares if people know you have uneven breasts?  What difference does it make?  Does it mean you cannot ride a roller coaster?  Does it mean you cannot drive a car?  No!  It simply means you have a different sort of struggle to overcome.  

Believe it or not, I actually was dating someone for a while that had NO IDEA I had breast asymmetry.  No idea!  How does that even happen?  I'd actually told him about my asymmetry, but he forgot all about it, and never noticed it even when we were intimate.  

The whole idea about being unloved and unwanted is just a self-induced fear.  I have been with my fiance for just over three years, and we've been engaged since July 2013.  If you'd have asked me a decade ago if I ever thought someone would love me enough to propose to me, I'd have said, "No. I'm broken."  But, the only thing that was broken was my way of thinking.  I finally let someone love me for who I am.  That's the problem with asymmetry; the fear has such a tight grasp on you that it keeps you from allowing someone to love you for who you are.  You might think, "I just want someone to love me."  But the reality is that you subconsciously push them away in fear.  Learn to love yourself with your asymmetry!  Become someone's inspiration!  Don't let your breasts hold you back from being who you want to be in life.  I missed out on doing so many things because I was self-conscious.  Live!  You only get one chance at it!  Tell that cute geek in your math class that he's got a cute smile!  Be flirty!  Draw positive attention to yourself!  Let your beautiful personality be what people see most!  When you hide your personality, all they can see is your asymmetry, your fear, and your low self-esteem.  That's not an image you want to project.  Let them love your personality!  

Don't let breast asymmetry define you.  You want to make an impression with your personality and your boldness.  Sometimes that alone is the best cover-up for asymmetry a girl can ever wear. 

Back To Beautiful Boob Basics - I'm Asymmetric Again

If you've followed this blog at all, you're aware of my bountiful breast story.  For those of you who are new and will see this post as the first glimpse into this blog, I'll quickly give a recap of the history.

*  Age 14, my right breast was significantly larger than my left breast, so I had a reduction.
*  Reduction didn't go as planned, and my nipple had to be removed.  I say that my nipple was KIA (killed in action).
*  I had a skin graft taken from my thigh to "recreate" a nipple for me.  Thankfully, they did shave it first.  Hairy nipples are unbecoming.
*  Roughly 5 years later, when I was 18, I had an implant put in my right breast, because the reduction had actually taken out too much breast tissue, so I was STILL asymmetric.
*  Implant had started to develop contracture, started to sit higher and was somewhat painful.
*  Nearly 8 years had gone by since my implant was "installed,"  and it decided to rupture and completely deflate.
*  In January 2013, I had surgery to remove the ruptured implant, remove the scar tissue capsule that had formed around it, and place a new implant in.


This brings us to June 2013.  I've never been bashful about my dislike for my implant since it was replaced in January.  I decided to call my surgeon's office to discuss with them what my options are, right now, with this current implant predicament.  I'm finding that the implant is too full, per se.  It makes my right breast look much fuller, and thus larger than my natural breast.  The breast isn't fitting right in bras, I can't wear anything strapless, and I'm struggling with wearing the swimsuit I wore last year.  This implant seems to sit higher than my last implant did, even with having contracture. I'm not happy.  After years of having semi-normal breasts, I'm back to basics with a breast that refuses to play nice.

I'm not proud of what I'm about to say, but I suppose that other women in my situation might feel this, and it's important to discuss it.  I have known I was dissatisfied with my breast for several months, but I've been too afraid to contact the surgeon until now.  There's a part of me that feels like I'm being selfish for wanting "normal" breasts.  There's a part of me that feels shame for wanting to fix the very thing I'm trying to hard to help other women hide.  I know how to hide asymmetry incredibly well, but one thing I have forgotten about with asymmetry is the mental distress it causes.  This is another topic I'll have to blog about next.  I feel as though maybe this is the epiphany I was supposed to have; I'm supposed to help another woman suffering such mental anguish from asymmetric breasts.  Maybe this is God's plan for me, and who am I to change those plans?  The rational part of me says that notion is absurd, but there is still a part of me that feels guilty for wanting to have symmetry.

So, for now, I'm back to the clever disguises of the breasts.  I'm still bearing cleavage like I'm a Kardashian, but for every ounce of confidence it appears I exude, there were countless hours of struggle, tears, frustration, screams, cries, and ten thousand outfits to get me to where I am right now.

The Flat Tire Repair And Recovery

To catch you up on what's happening in my Asymmetric life I'll give you a very brief recap:

• In mid-December, my under muscle saline implant ruptured
• The ruptured implant drained leaving me with a missing boob
• The ruptured implant was protruding under my skin and causing extreme pain
• The surgeon determined that I had capsular contracture, a condition where the scar tissue capsule that forms around the implant actually squeezes the implant
• I had surgery on Jan 9, 2013 to remove the ruptured implant, remove the capsule of scar tissue that had formed around the implant, and to replace the implant. 

So, it's March 5, 2013 and I'm finally starting to get closer to being back to normal.  After surgery the pain was pretty intense.  I had to have a drain tube put in to help get the massive amount of fluid out of the breast, and I had that drain tube in for just over a week.  I ended up with two incisions, one under my armpit (in an existing keloid scar) for the drain tube, and one that runs vertically on my breast (also through an existing keloid scar) spanning from the bottom of my nipple to to my rib cage.  Dealing with the post-operative pain was pretty tough, but the bottom part of my main incision was causing me a lot more pain than almost anything else.  

This diagram shows how my breast would look from a frontal view.  I have scars from my first surgery at #1 and #2.  This surgery made another incision through scar #1 to do the implant removal, capsule removal, and implant replacement.  The purple arrow indicates the place where I was having an intense amount of pain.  The drain tube would leave my body under my armpit, but the tube (internally) followed the top curve of my breast and came down (moving clockwise) almost to the incision.  I had an immense amount of swelling, even after the drain tube was removed, and the pain at the bottom of the incision (the purple arrow point) was getting worse.  I went in two weeks after surgery to have my stitches and Steri Strips removed, and I explained that the pain was still really bad.  As she removed the strips, the bottom of my incisions came back open, and I leaked every bit of 200 mLs of fluid.  I was stitched up again in the office, covered with Steri Strips again, and put back on restricted activity for another two weeks.  

After two weeks, I went in to get my second set of stitches out, but I was still having a lot of pain at that site. I was still very swollen, and my implant was sitting differently than it had before, so it seemed as if all the pressure in my breast was being carried right on that incision.  Prior to this surgery, incision #2 was fully under my breast and spanned from the middle of my chest to under my armpit.  Now, because of how this implant sits, incision #2 actually is on my breast about 1/2" from my rib cage.  I'm assuming that, because of how different the implant is positioned in my breast, the pain is being caused by increased pressure to that one spot.  The incision healed, but was/is still very vulnerable for another few weeks because of my Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.  

I'm not completely satisfied with how my breasts look in clothes.  I feel like my implant sits higher in the pocket than the last one did, causing my breast to appear fuller at the top than my  natural breast.  This is probably because of the capsular contracture I had prior to my rupture.  The capsular contracture caused my previous implant to sit VERY high up on my chest for quite a while.  This caused the pocket to expand much higher than before.  

My surgeon thinks that the skin will continue to relax and allow the implant to fall a little in the next few months, but if it doesn't improve, I'm going to consider going back in to have the implant moved to a point that I don't look so asymmetric in clothing.

Unfortunately my insurance didn't see removing this ruptured implant and mass of scar tissue as a procedure deemed medically necessary, so this cost me over $5,000.  I was blessed that my parents helped me pay for this, and the implant was free from the manufacturer.  However, this was not something that was cosmetic, and putting the implant in to begin with wasn't cosmetic.  Because of how different my breasts were, I had altered how I carried my shoulders to hide my asymmetry, and I had thrown my back out of alignment, and the doctors were concerned it would cause permanent damage.  Either way, unless you have a history of breast cancer, it seems that getting anything done to correct asymmetry is considered cosmetic, no matter what damage it is causing to you physically.  From a medical standpoint, I can kind of understand it, but I feel that if the asymmetry is bad enough it's causing physical problems, it should be assisted by insurance.  

Either way, I'm on the road to recovery and have a lot of new ways to hide asymmetry to share with everyone!  I attended my best friend's wedding with my "flat tire boob" before I was able to get in for surgery, and I didn't do too bad!  More to come! 

Before Surgery:

The drain tube: 

Rocking my ruptured implant at a wedding:

You can tell my right breast is a little different (because it's deflated), but I think I hid it pretty well

The Flat Tire Situation (Ruptured Implant)

Greetings!

It's been quite some time since I've updated on here, I know.  I thought I'd give you all a current, and rather BOOBTASTIC, update.

As you know, I attempted to correct my asymmetry when I was younger by having a breast reduction that went wrong.  Years later I had some reconstruction and had a breast implant put in to make things a little more even, since the reduction didn't do the trick.  I know this isn't in the cards for everyone, and I know it's not something everyone is comfortable with, which is why I post about ways to hide asymmetry as opposed to just touting that everyone go speak to your local plastic surgeon.  For me, it was so bad and the breast was so deformed, that surgery was the best option for me.

That being said, I'd like to spend this post talking about a specific risk associated with having an implant.

I've had my breast implant for almost 8 years.  About three years ago I started to notice the breast was getting firmer, and over time began to sit higher on my chest.  At first I didn't think much about it, but as time went on, it created a little bit more asymmetry.  Being a veteran at hiding asymmetry, I just went back to my old tricks, and was slightly disgruntled that I had to deal with that again, but it was no big deal.  I'd always been able to feel my saline implant through my breast (kind of like a water bed), but it was never overly noticeable  but that seemed to be changing a little. When I first had my implant put in, and even before it was put in, I had a lot of breast pain.  Because I lost my nipple in the tragic Boob Reduction Battle of 2000 (LOL), when the temperature changed my nipple wasn't able to contract, but the nerve signals still traveled to where my nipple should be and caused pain.  Over time, this pain diminished.  However, about two years ago I started to notice more breast discomfort.  The implant has always been uncomfortable at times, but nothing severe.  But two years ago, it was a little more annoying than usual.  I called my surgeon, and the nurse said I might just have some capsular contracture going on.  Capsular contracture is when your body forms scar tissue around the capsule of the implant, putting pressure on the implant and possibly causing discomfort.  She said it wasn't too big of a deal if it wasn't causing a lot of pain.  Well, it might have been causing a lot of pain, but I wasn't aware of it.  For the last four years I've been dealing with hip pain and three unsuccessful hip reconstructions.  I'm on pain medication, and my pain scale is already out of whack, so if this breast was causing me, what would be on a normal day, a lot of pain, I didn't know.  I just knew it was painful from time to time, but nothing I couldn't grin and bear.

Well, on Thursday of last week, I was sleeping and felt a lot of pain in my breast.  I thought maybe I was dreaming pain, or that since the pain in my hip had been so bad that I was just transferring the pain somewhere else in my sleep.  The pain was so bad it actually woke me to the point that I was in lucid sleep. I didn't think much about it, though.  I woke up that Thursday morning, and because I sleep in a sports bra, I just threw on a t-shirt and went about doing some laundry.  Well, I grabbed my laundry and pressed it against my chest and I about hit the floor in pain.  My breast was absolutely excruciating.

I took a moment to touch my breast through my bra to figure out what was going on, and it felt like there was a huge knot. Now, as I said before, I'd always been able to feel my implant, but this was HUGE and was kind of protruding through the breast.  I lifted up my bra and realized that my breast was gone.  My implant had ruptured and deflated.

Saline implants tend to leak fast when they rupture, as they are salt water and your body just takes up the contents and you excrete it in your urine.  Had this been a silicon implant and the contents had emptied this fast, it could have been a serious issue.  Thankfully, saline is easy in this regard.

I made an emergency appointment with my surgeon, and I'm scheduled to have the implant removed, the capsule of scar tissue scraped, and the implant replaced on January 9, 2013.  In the meantime, though, I'm miserable.

Normally deflated implants do not cause pain.  Mine, however, is overwhelming.  I think that when the implant deflated, it took some of the scar tissue down with it.  The implant is balled up in the bottom of my breast and is poking out awkwardly, which is very painful.  I'm finding that wearing a regular bra is nearly unbearable for any length of time, too.  I'll be the first to tell you, it's hard to look snazzy in a sports bra! LOL  But, because I know the little tricks to hiding my asymmetry, it's not all that noticeable.  I do have a wedding to go to on December 30th, so I am nervous about having to wear a regular bra for that length of time.

Overall, it's not so bad.  The top of my breast area is noticeably less full on the side that the implant ruptured, and the breast is much smaller, but it's not that hard to hide.  The problem is, it's painful to hide it.

I'm thinking for the wedding I'll wear a strapless bra, use an extra padded insert on my flat side, and use some makeup to create cleavage lines to give the image of symmetry. Always thinking ahead! Or, you could say, always staying abreast!

I just wanted to share my story with you, and I'll continue to share more as it unfolds!

Happy Holidays!


Here is a picture where you can sort of see where the breast in the foreground is flatter, smaller, and doesn't even fill the sports bra.  You can see the bunching of the fabric in the middle where the weight of the breasts is unevenly distributed across the front of the bra.

Let's go STRAPLESS (bras)

Guess what, ladies!  Spring is here, and strapless bras are the topic of choice, today.  When one breast is larger than the other, strapless bras can be a challenge to find, but there are ways around the struggle!  Let's talk about the ways these bras can make our wardrobe fabulous!

First we need to discuss what the strapless bra will do.  This bra will hold your "goodies" in place while allowing you to wear something that is either strapless or has straps that will not cover bra straps.  These bras can be a beast of a burden to hold in place sometimes, and an FYI for those who have never braved the bra sans straps: you WILL have to adjust yourself relatively often.  Strapless bras have come a long way since I first started wearing them in the early 2000s.  Now many bras come with a band of an almost sticky, rubber-like product inside them.  This is a glorious asset to a bra!  This will help prevent the bra from slipping down, but inevitably they all will a little.  If you're going for uber cleavage, or just holding them in place, there are options all across the board, but it will depend on your level of comfort, self-confidence, and your degree of asymmetry.

Let's start from the back of the bra and work our way forward.  Depending on how well endowed your larger breast is, the strapless bra you select may have three hooks on the back to hold the bra down.  It has been my experience that bras with three hooks have a significantly wider band on them (that goes around your rib cage to your back), and thus provide more support.  Please keep in mind that I'm a 36D, so the three hook bra may not be available for everyone.  As we've discussed before, keeping your bra tight to your body is crucial for holding your breasts in place.  Nobody wants wandering breasts or a wandering bra!  Don't just put your strapless bra on so that it fits around your ribs like a pair of jeans would fit (loose and relaxed); your bra needs to be tight on your ribs, but not so tight that you get "muffin top" or "back cleavage" when you wear it.  The wider the bra, the more support it's going to bring to your chest.  Again, wider bras tend to have three hooks in the back, but not always.  The biggest thing is to make sure that when you fasten those hooks, your bra is snug.

When we're talking about bras (strapless or not), I want to emphasize that QUALITY is important here.  Nothing can ruin your day like a bra falling apart at work.  Strapless bras almost demand to be of good quality, because you don't have anything (straps) to assist them.  (NOTE: I will discuss clear straps later in the post)  If your bra is made from a very stretchy fabric, poor quality fabric, or one that is very thin, this bra will likely fail you very quickly.  Strapless bras need to be durable, for the most part.  If the fabric "gives" too much, there will be no support and the bra will not hold shape, thus allowing your larger breast to pull the bra down, or tilt forward far more than your smaller breast.  I cannot stress enough how important fabric really is to the quality of the bra, and the the efficacy of disguising asymmetry.  You'll want to find a bra with rigid materials that are rather thick.  You'll, inevitably, end up paying more for a bra like this, but you'll get so much more use out of one good bra than you will ten cheap bras.

Padding is a must for me when it comes to bras, however, strapless bras can be a little different.  If your breasts aren't drastically different, you may be able to get away with a bra that is not padded, but apply padding to your smaller breast to even them out.  If your degree of asymmetry is fairly high, you may need a padded bra, and then pad to cover the difference.  I say this only because a padded bra tends to assist a little more with cleavage, and may provide more coverage.  If your degree of asymmetry is severe, you may want to buy a heavily padded bra, and try to get a full-coverage strapless bra so that only the upper part of your cleavage is visible.  This shows off some cleavage, but also leaves something for the imagination of the admirers.

As I've mentioned before, the part of the bra that connects the breast cups is so important.  This can absolutely change the way a bra sits on your body.  If you don't have a very high degree of asymmetry, you can get away with having a bra that has a very small piece of fabric connecting the two cups.  However, for myself, I cannot use those types of bras, as they show my asymmetry too much.  They allow my larger breast to lean more forward at an angle.  The analogy I use is to put both of your hands up in the air, with the tips of your thumbs touching.  Now lean you right hand as far forward as you can.  See how large that range of motion is?  Now hold both of your hands up again and make the tips of your thumbs AND the tips of your index fingers touch.  Now try to tilt your right hand forward.  Notice how much less of a range there is?  That's what we're going for!  Minimal range!  The larger the piece of fabric is that connects the cups, the less movement there will be, and the more support there will be!

Clear straps are always an option.  You can adjust them the exact same way you do your bras, and some will even go around your neck like a halter!  These can be a wonderful asset to ladies who want to wear a sexy halter top, but aren't comfortable with a strapless bra.  There are also clear straps that work by crossing around your back/ribs (like where the hooks in the back are) to provide added support at the top of the bra, but hiding it under your clothes.  I've never personally tried them, but the idea is absolutely fantastic!  Clear straps can be added to almost any strapless bra that will accept straps.  Many of the new bras that are purchased with straps are actually able to be worn as strapless bras by removing the straps.  Victoria's Secret makes MANY of their bras like this, now.  It's FANTASTIC!  For those of you who are comfortable in a bra you've found, and it has removable straps, you can substitute in the clear ones and be on your way in your stunning halter dress and big sunglasses!

Strapless bras can be so challenging, but with patience, good advice, and a good outlook, anyone (with or without asymmetry) can find a strapless bra!  So let's start dressing sexy, gals!  There's no need to let the asymmetry hold us back from being utterly fabulous!

Bathing Suits!

Let's have a talk about swimwear with asymmetric breasts.  For those of you with this problem, you know how difficult shopping for a bathing suit can be.  I'm here to tell you it doesn't HAVE to be as bad as it may have been before.  I'm not going to tell you that these tips will solve all of your problems, but I'm going to give you some ideas and tips that might make shopping a little easier.  Now, I'm NOT going to be biased and insensitive toward any body type, so please don't dismiss what I'm going to say automatically if one suggestion doesn't apply to you.  

When I was younger, I always went shopping with my mom for clothes.  Swimwear was especially hard for us to shop for, because I was really struggling with breast asymmetry and incredibly low self-esteem.  I can vividly remember one evening when my mom had taken me to the mall to shop for a new bathing suit.  We had gone to EVERY store in there, except Pacific Sunwear, and in a last-ditch attempt to make this trip a successful one, we stopped in to see what they had.  They were pricey, to say the least, but my mom didn't want to see me continue to hurt the way I did, so we shopped around.  We told the woman who was working about my situation, and she was SO helpful.  For the rest of my life, I'll always remember the blonde haired girl who brought every bathing suit in the store to my dressing room, and refused to give up until we found two swimsuits that made me feel comfortable and confident.  That was one of the first times I'd ever cried tears of joy with respect to my breast asymmetry. 

One-piece bathing suits are somewhat harder to shop for, but so many advancements have been made in the lining and construction of swimwear these days, that they have become so much more asymmetry-friendly!  When it comes to a one-piece, the big thing is making sure that YOU have the ability to control how tight (or loose) you are adjusting the "straps" to be.  One-piece suits that look like the type the Olympic swimmers wear are not good for asymmetry.  Those types of bathing suits almost highlight asymmetry, and that's not what we're going for.  Try to find a one-piece that has straps like a bra.  This gives you the freedom to be able to adjust the straps so that your larger breast can be lifted more than the other.  Another thing to look into is bathing suits that tie around the back of the neck like a halter top.  I currently am doing physical therapy in a one-piece that is like this.  Another thing to look for is a one-piece that is structured inside like a bra.  Some have padding inside them, and others actually adjust in the back.  Fabric patterns/designs across the breast also help distract from asymmetry, so that may also be useful.  Many, now, create almost a wave from one breast to another (I'll show you a picture of a TRAGIC two piece I put together that has this pattern later on). If you're insecure about your weight, mid-section, or thighs/hips, you might try looking into a one-piece with a skirt on it.  Also, try to find one with some ruching around the tummy, as this will help create a slimmer mid-section.  There are TONS of one-piece bathing suits out there that have side supports in the breast area as well as along the mid-section.  This is incredibly helpful for getting an hourglass figure!

When it comes to two-piece bathing suits, there's a little more selection for tops that allow you to adjust them to your own liking.  Bikini tops that are padded and look almost identical to a bra are very useful for hiding asymmetry.  It's already structured like a bra, and that's something you're accustomed to adjusting to hide your breast issues, so the exact same concept translates over into your bathing suit.  This is also available in a tankini type.  Again, you're going to want to look for things that are padded, or give you room to adjust yourself, or both.  I, actually, prefer to get padded bikinis that I can tie on my own.  Just your standard, good old-fashioned triangle bikini tops with tons of padding give me the ability to tighten one side up more, thus lifting my larger/natural breast.  I also have the ability to adjust how tight it is around my ribs.  This, to me, is crucial.  If this part is too loose, the entire bathing suit will fall down, thus any difference in your neck adjustments will be useless.  You want to make sure your bikini is snug to your rib cage.  I've long gotten past people looking at my scars on my chest, so it doesn't bother me to wear something like this.  I definitely don't have the figure to pull it off by ANY means, but I've come to terms with who I am, and if someone doesn't like it, they can look the other way.  Bikini tops that are the bandeau type are also helpful for creating the illusion of a symmetric chest-line, however, the greater the difference you have in the size of your breasts, the less helpful this style will be unless you incorporate the strap that goes with it.  Usually bandeau bikini tops have a pack of straps that come with them to either hook on like a bra, or use one to go around your neck (similar to a halter top).  Again, it will depend upon the severity of your asymmetry if that style is comfortable for you.

As I had mentioned earlier, I'll include a picture of me taken by my boyfriend when we went to Kentucky this past October.  There was a swimming pool and hot tub in the hotel, and I was so excited to go for a swim.  However, I walked off and left my bathing suit at my house.  So, we had to go to Wal-Mart that evening and hunt their heavily picked over clearance racks for a swimsuit to wear.  Unfortunately there was not a single matching bathing suit anywhere in the store, and the two pieces of a bikini that I could piece together looked like the Miami Sound Machine had exploded in front of me.  The reason I'm sharing this picture is to show you the style of top that best works for me.  I'm able to adjust the tightness around my ribs, I'm able to adjust my larger/natural breast more by tightening the strap around the neck, and the pattern across the chest (a wave almost) helps distract from my asymmetry.  I know I don't have the figure to be wearing this swimsuit, but I'm comfortable in my own skin, and I think every woman should be, too!   My right breast is an implant, and my left breast is natural.  You can see the skin graft on my right thigh (the larger spot) that was used to recreate my nipple, and there are subsequently 6 other scars in that same area (some really red) from my recent hip surgeries.  Please ignore the crutches in the background, and the obvious look of humiliation and disgust on my face.  That swimsuit was a monstrosity. LOL