The Hunt For Clothes

This is a post I've been working on for quite some time.  I want to take the time to detail some clothing that will work for breast asymmetry!  Let me be totally honest with you; while I run a blog for hiding breast asymmetry and seem to be strong and embrace my beautiful breasts, lately I've been self conscious about myself in clothing.  I wear my scars and my story LOUD and proud, but I want to look amazing in clothes.  I've recently changed jobs, so I've changed my wardrobe.  I was teaching Pharmacy Technician classes for about a year, and I wore scrubs every day.  The Gray's Anatomy scrubs worked GREAT for me.  They were flattering, had a fun V-neck, and hugged my body right under the breast to flatter my figure and draw attention to my chest in a different way.  Now I'm back in the pharmacy setting, and dressing up every day (except casual Friday! woot!).

When trying to dress up, I find myself stuck somewhere in the middle.  I LOVE looking fierce, but I need to stay in budget, and I need to hide my breast asymmetry.  Where do I go from here?

Reality check! The whole point of hiding breast asymmetry is to make your breasts look natural and symmetric.  We're not trying to make this a target that says, "Look! I'm hiding something and I've made it painfully obvious!"  We want to hide asymmetry while still looking fashionable, classy, and sexy!



Tips For Looking FIERCE With Unique TaTas:

Layer Up! 
I get cold ALL THE TIME.  It could be 85 degrees outside, and I'm rocking a tank and shorts, but as soon as I get into the AC, I'm freezing.  I love wearing shrugs, crops, and cardigans!  They add a unique way of being stylish and covering the breasts at the same time.  There is a line of clothing I've been purchasing on HSN by Antthony, and ALL of his pieces seem to flatter the body, the breasts, and they work for ... wait for it ... ALL BODY TYPES!
I found this Lenadee cardigan and top set by Antthony that was TO DIE FOR.  Now, the t-shirt that comes with it wasn't my most favorite ONLY because it hit my torso at a strange spot and almost cut me off, however the cardigan is spectacular.  This crosses over and buttons on the sides to create a unique look.  The actual cross can be modified to happen further down the torso, to distract from the breast itself, or can be brought up to cover the breasts entirely.  The way this piece just flows over the body is amazing and does wonders for hiding breast irregularities.

I also found this piece by Antthony called the New Englander.  It is more of a duster/coat, but it's flattering to the form, and, again, draws away from the breast, which is important.  This has that dual front that just flows and draws attention to the closure and away from the breast line.  If you're a person who can show some cleavage (that looks even) to distract from the fact that your breast profile (your hourglass) is uneven, then DO IT.  If you're a person who has to draw attention to the breast profile to distract from the fact that your cleavage isn't as full or symmetric, then these pieces are great for you, too!  These can both show a little bit of cleavage if you so choose, but they also distract and hide your breast profile.  

A word of warning, for those of you who cannot show breast profile or a full breast attention without feeling uncomfortable, AVOID CARDIGANS LIKE THE ONE FEATURED BELOW.  This is not by Antthony, it's just some generic image I found on google.  However, cardigans like the one in yellow below are potentially going to draw MORE attention to breast asymmetry.  Be careful!  These can be cute, but can be a problem.  If you absolutely need to have a cardigan on... DO NOT BUTTON IT ALL THE WAY UP.  Maybe only button the bottom 2 or 3 buttons.  Do NOT allow it to hug the breasts so much.  

I bought this Rhonda Sheer piece on HSN, and it fits the body very well, too.  It's comfortable, it's soft, and it's stretchy (much like every Antthony piece I've purchased).  The only problem I could foresee with this Rhonda Sheer "Ahh 3/4 sleeve Comfort Wrap" is that it may have the potential to loose shape if you hang or line dry it, as the fabric is heavy.  

Shrugs can be amazing, too.  For those of you who don't know what a shrug is, it's basically a cardigan in half the size.  It can come fully across the breast, or it can just hug the outside shape of the breast.  However, these can be worn with a dress or a tank top to not only hide the upper arms, but to draw attention away from the breasts themselves in a unique way.  These can help hide any breast asymmetry when it comes to that breast profile (again, that hourglass or side fullness).  They're cute, they're fashionable, they're classy, and they help cover you up if you're unsure about showing some arm.

This shrug is a unique cut that would cover any cleavage exposed, and potentially hide some profile issues.

I like how this style is more "tailored," per se.  This allows for the breast to be more hidden with the way this hangs from the breast curve.

Crop jackets can be amazing layers, too.  These are a little bit longer than shrugs at times (but are pretty much the same thing...).  You'll be able to find crops like this one that will provide full breast coverage, but still be absolutely fierce.  

These crops just fall off the breast profile, and will allow you to wear a simple shirt underneath to hide asymmetry.  This looks wonderfully professional, wonderfully fashionable, and would look amazing with a pair of jeans, big sunglasses, pearls, hot shoes, and a handbag. 

Scarves and Necklaces

For those of you who are thinking I'm crazy for saying a scarf or a necklace could hide your breast woes, let me take a moment to help prove you wrong.  For those of you who follow the blog, you'll know that I don't promise every suggestion will work for all women.  Our bodies are different, and our degrees of breast asymmetry are different.  However, these tricks work for some.  Any trick that works for you means it's a success, right?!  If you have other tips and tricks, SHARE THEM!  When I was a teenager and young woman, there was no internet to help me learn how to hide my breast asymmetry, I had to just learn from heartbreaking trial and error.  I don't want women and girls to have to go through that, so I do these blogs!  Help share your experiences!  Anyway, back to the topic at hand...

A scarf can be fantastic!  Scarves can be infinity scarves or regular scarves, and it all depends on how you wear them.  Infinity scarves can be worn many different ways, even though they're a complete circle.  These scarves will allow you to hide your breasts in a regular outfit, and still look fashionable. Let's say you wore a cardigan like the yellow one featured above.  Even if you left it unbuttoned, you still feel self conscious about it.  Throw a scarf over it!  Voila!  You've now hidden the asymmetry in a new way.  

Regular scarves serve a fantastic purpose.  The infinity scarf picture showed thick and full infinity scarves (knit ones), which wouldn't look practical in the summer, late spring, or even early autumn.  This is where regular, flowing scarves come into play.  Simple scarves can be worn a myriad of different ways, too.  Don't just think you have to wear them with a brooch like grandma did at church.  It's not like that.  This is an Antthony scarf from HSN, and it's a shorter scarf.  I'm going to show you guys several scarf lengths and several different ways to wear them.  Obviously wearing the scarf on your purse doesn't cover your breast asymmetry, so pay attention to that.  However, these serve as minor distractions to the breasts overall.  

A pashmina scarf can do a world of wonders, too. It can be worn like a shawl, can be worn like a scarf, and can provide full coverage.  

Now, necklaces can be another great distraction!  Necklaces can flow right off the breasts and create a waterfall look to create an illusion of symmetry.  This will, as all things do, depend on your degree of asymmetry.  However, even if you're dramatically asymmetric, a necklace can always be layered up to help create distractions and illusions.  Remember, you don't always want to draw attention completely away from the breasts and draw it to your torso or something, you're going to have to do the natural thing and draw attention to the breasts, and that's where your ability to hide asymmetry comes into play.  

Let It Flow

Clothes that FLOW off the body are a great way to hide asymmetry. You don't always want something hugging the body and being form fitting.  Sometimes you can hide under something fashionably loose.  

This Antthony piece is adorable!  It has a form-fitting tank underneath it, and a flowing, almost ruched mesh draping on top.  

I like to find clothing in the summer that covers, but is free feeling.  Items that provide coverage, but don't squeeze your figure will allow your body to hide under the fabric, but still give you a shape.  Some are more sheer than others, so make sure if you're going very sheer, you are balanced with the shirt and bra you have on under the loose top.  Plus, the BoHo look is SO IN right now!

Remember, patterns are always an asymmetric girl's best friend!  I'll be doing a whole piece on patterns and designs and unique cuts!

Thanks for stopping by!
Remember, you're gorgeous, fierce, and fabulous exactly how you are!

Bathing Suits Revisited

So another year of swimwear battles have come and gone, and I found myself in the same old routine of saying, "you know what, it MUST be a man who creates swimwear for women! These bathing suits are just plain awful for my amazingly asymmetric breasts!"  That's right.  Amazingly Asymmetric.  I have had multiple breast reconstructions, and in January of 2013 I had my breast implant replaced due to a rupture.  However, this implant isn't playing as nice as the last one did due to my connective tissue disorder.  I'm left very asymmetric still, but it's nothing I can't handle.  In fact, no asymmetry is too much to handle.  But, let's get back to swimwear.

I noticed in the Spring 2014 when all the new swim attire began to hit store shelves that a weird trend has happened; none of the swimwear was going to be "easy" to work with.  After having gained about 5 pounds at my new, chaotic-scheduled job, I wasn't entirely comfortable with wearing a bikini, and the swimsuit I had from last year was wearing a little thin in the butt.  I had gone to multiple stores to find a swimsuit that fit my needs, and I resorted to doing the big asymmetric no-no and bought ONLINE without trying anything on! *GASP!*  Here's what I discovered about this new swimwear trend...

As of right now, it's almost guaranteed whatever swimsuit you purchase will have padding.  Thank goodness for that, because padding is an asymmetry must-have.  However, many of the new swimsuits don't afford the wearer the opportunity to adjust the top.  I'm a FIRM believer that if you're asymmetric, you absolutely must either purchase a halter-style top, or a top that's like a bra and has a huge ability to adjust WITHOUT the material being too elastic and allowing for too much "give" (which will allow one breast to sag a little lower, due to how much heavier it is).

However, this year was really the year for a mix of swimwear.  I'm 100% about that vintage, pinup girl, throwback look.  That's my thing.  I'll be totally honest with you, it's attractive, it's sexy, and many of those vintage looks will hide your asymmetry like crazy.  Let me explain.  You see, many of the vintage styles will hide asymmetry because they're halter types.  The only problem comes with WHERE the straps are placed on the top itself.  Let me show you what I mean.

While all of these swimsuits and models are beautiful in their own right, let me point out a few things that won't fly with asymmetric women who try to don these bathing suits.  Notice how the halter straps are sewn far off to the lateral (outside) areas of the top?  They're almost attached at the armpits.  This provides a different type of "lift" than a traditional style of halter.  It will depend greatly on how the swimsuit is structured on how much "lift' or "play" you'll be able to have with each side.  Truth be told, the swimsuit pictured in the black is likely the best due to the nice "infinity" type pattern (with the swoosh almost) and the deep V cut in the cleavage between cups.    Each model's breasts are just being covered by the swim tops, and aren't actually being lifted.  Now, one could argue that it's because they didn't pull the straps tight to tie them, and that they were simply just tied loosely.  Sure, I'll believe that.  However, the two red swimsuits are going to be a little more challenging for some with more extreme asymmetry.  It's not impossible to hide, but it will pose a little bit more of a challenge.  I actually purchased a swimsuit this year that is nearly identical to these, and as my fiance can testify, I spent about 20 minutes (and often requiring his help to "hold this strap as tight as you can while I adjust this side, then we'll tie them up while I've got these bad boys hoisted up in the air!") adjusting the straps each time I went to put it on, as the material "gave" a little each time I wore it.  

That's my swimsuit from this year!  I loved it.  It hid my asymmetry well,  and I like to show off a little cleavage.  Here's why.  My breasts are asymmetrical in a very, very strange way.  You see, my left breast is natural and doesn't have a whole lot of "lift" to it on it's own (you can actually tell that in the picture), however my right breast is an implant and sits significantly higher than my left breast.  Also, my left breast is a little fuller in the cup than my right breast is, so I'm not perfectly asymmetric across the lateral sides (meaning, my breasts don't give me that even "hourglass" top).  So, to distract from the upper fullness of my breasts, and distract from the SIDES of my breast, I draw attention to the MIDLINE of my breasts where my symmetry is a little better off.  For those of you who are visual, let me show you in a different way.  

Ok, so the purple lines show how high the breasts sit "up" on my chest wall.  my right breast (pink arrow) sits higher due to where the implant decided to call "home" when it was put in under my muscle.  My left breast (blue arrow) is natural, and sits much lower on my chest wall, so I need to distract away from that lack of fullness.  Now, the green arrows show where my left breast (blue arrow) actually fills out a little more than my right breast (pink arrow) does, as that's mostly just the shape of the cup filling the line out.  So, I need to distract from these breast flaws.  So I go ahead and show a little cleavage to distract the eye.  Works every time for me.  For some women, that's not the case.  If you're a B on one side and a D on the other, your cleavage line might be a giveaway that you're asymmetric.  If that's the case, purchase a halter style more like the red bathing suits featured on top where there is a straight line cut to the cups, and not this deep V.  Adjust your larger cup to be tighter and sit just as high as your smaller cup breast, and make them equal from appearance in terms of where they sit on your chest wall.  Then pad the smaller breast cup appropriately, making sure to focus not only on the FRONT fullness of the breast (the distance it actually sticks out from your chest), but the SIDE fullness of the breast (how far the breasts come out to each side).  Women often forget to pad the sides of the breast for equal fullness.  Allowing for the fullness factor and a nice pattern and ruching (or scrunching) of the material to help "confuse" the eye, you will detract from the actual midline of your breasts and hide your asymmetry perfectly.  If you have a nice cleavage line that doesn't give away your asymmetry, but your side fullness is a giveaway, show some cleavage to distract the eye.  It's all about distractions and illusions, ladies.  Every magician does it, and so can we.  

Again, I'm a huge fan of the vintage look, but it's not for everyone, and I know that.  Some girls are younger and like the new youthful look.  Some like the more sexy look.  I tried those on, too.  Here's what I've discovered in terms of those.  My conclusion: Victoria's Secret is REALLY doing some work with women who are stellar and have PERFECT breasts, but little did they know, people with perfectly imperfect breasts are taking their ideas and making them better.  

Victoria's Secret came up with this new line of push-up swimwear.  I have two beefs with this, but I do like where they're going.  First off, of the tops shown on this picture, only the purple actually provides any support (proof again that a man is designing swimwear).  The others have such weak straps that they couldn't possibly do much in terms of pushing anything up. However, these are highly padded and can be adjusted around the neck to provide support.  Again, these bras are only acceptable for those who can bare a little cleavage and feel comfortable with it.  These are likely to be more for those who are just slightly asymmetric.  However, that doesn't mean those of you who are more drastically asymmetric have to stay away from swimwear like this.  I love a good challenge, and asymmetry is a really good challenge.  If you're drastically asymmetric and just have to go this route with a push-up, because this is your DREAM swimsuit, then let's do this.  Firs, you would start with padding.  You would add a little more padding to the inside of the swimsuit.  Now, you cannot just "stick a pad in there" because when you get in the water, the pad might come floating right on out between your boob and your cup.  You're going to need to sew this into the lining of the swimsuit.  Listen, I know it is unpleasant to think about spending $100 on a swimsuit that you have to have tailored, but if it's your dream swimsuit, you do what you have to.  You'd pad from the bottom and the sides of the smaller cup , adding to the natural curve of the breast and the lift of the breast.  You'll need to be sure to follow the cup's shape, too.  Again, always buy a swimsuit to fit your larger breast and work backward to fill up the other side.  Never buy to fit the smaller breast.

Victoria's Secret does well with halters, though.  Their halters are shaped right with padding inside.  Not all are well-padded, so you need to find a store near you to FEEL the padding inside and try them on first.  

Now, I don't want anyone to feel like I'm just catering to crowds of skinny girls or average sized girls.  That's not the case.  I'm quite chunky myself, so finding swimwear isn't easy to do when you're asymmetric and thicker.  So, let's take the time to discuss plus-sized swimwear.  Sometimes you wanna hide some belly, a little thigh, and some asymmetry.  I do.  I've been there.  This year, though, I stopped caring about my thighs and scars.  Last year one of my scars on my thigh caused my muscle to become paralyzed, and my thigh looked really fat.  It made me self-conscious.  This year, I just didn't care anymore.  Frankly, I didn't care much about people noticing my asymmetry this year, either.  I almost wanted people to ask so I could tell them and spread the awareness.  However, when it comes right down to it, most people don't ask, they stare, and stares are more awkward than questions... so I hid my asymmetry as always.  Let's get back to plus sized swimwear before I go on another tangent.  Lane Bryant does a STELLAR job with swimwear, but it can often look a little for "older people" or sometimes like it was "for heavy people."  However, this last few years, they've really kicked it up a notch.  

That picture is a link to the swimsuit on the Lane Bryant website.  I'm so in love with this swimsuit.  It's a halter.  It has an UNDER WIRE CUP.  And it's SHAPELY! Can I just tell you that I really want this? Because I do!  Lane Bryant has stepped up their game, and really has pulled out all stops. They're appealing to younger, full-figured women.  AlwaysForMe is another company who seems to be making their name in the plus size world.  Again, be cautious about buying online without being able to try anything on.  Lane Bryant has locations all across the country, but I'm unaware of AlwaysForMe or their return policy.  

I hope this helps out for this year's swimwear changes.

I hope everyone had a great swim year!

Remember, you and your asymmetry are perfectly imperfect and absolutely beautiful! 

Sports Bras

Sports Bras.  There, I said it.  ALL women, asymmetric or not, know the perils of a sports bra.  They're just wretched, aren't they?  I'm convinced a man designed them, and to this day, a man STILL designs them.  They're not supportive, they're not flattering, and they're not useful.  All of the things a bra should be, and a sports bra is none of them.  However, I've got some tricks up my sleeve for these beasts, and I've found some sports bras that I think might be helpful.  Together, we can fight the uniboob.

If you're asymmetric, like me, sports bras are just the worst.  I have one breast that is a natural breast, and the other breast is an implant.  My implant doesn't wander around too much, however my natural breast could slap me in the face (or could slap a stranger standing too close) if provoked.  This poses a problem when you're wearing a sports bra.  How do you jog in gym class, or at the gym, or out in public when only one boob bounces?  How humiliating, right?  You've got one small breast that barely moves, and the other is bouncing around like a ball in LeBron's hands.  There must be a way to combat this!  There is, ladies.  There is.  

We've been through how to find a good bra in other posts here, but I'll give a BRIEF recap just in case.  You need to have a bra that fits you around your rib cage appropriately.  From there, size yourself to your larger breast.  Bras with a push-up and lots of padding can really be your best friend, contrary to what you might believe.  Adjust your straps once your bra is properly fitted around your ribs.  Adjust so that your breasts appear as even as possible in all directions.  Your straps DO NOT have to be equal.  One breast is larger than the other, so your straps wouldn't be even, otherwise you wouldn't be worrying about asymmetry.  Once you have a good fitting bra, we can move on to the next part.  

I'm sure most of you ladies already layer your sports bras to provide more support (or squishing, really).  However, are you layering them with your decent bras?  You don't want to be working out in your most favorite, "my boobs look excellent in this $75 piece of beauty" bra, but you do want to use one that hides your asymmetry pretty well.  Start off with your bra that fits right (your average, everyday bra), then place a sports bra on top of it.  Now, I usually recommend using a sports bra that's tight, and in this case, I actually suggest the zip-up bra.  The zip-up bra I have was used as a post-surgical bra when I had my breast implant replaced in January.  The bra is somewhat padded, and provides a fair amount of support on its own.  However, when coupled with my regular bra, the asymmetry disappears, and I'm able to work out with the support my body deserves.  

This is a picture of me with just a plain, old-fashioned sports bra.  You can see my degree of asymmetry.
*Please ignore my sexy layer of winter blubber, and the shameless promotion of The Ohio State University.

Here you can see my nice, new bra from Victoria's Secret.  The way I've selected a bra and adjusted the bra helps to hide my asymmetry.

If this bra were to be worn with just your average racer-back tank top, you'd get this:

Not a bad hide of the asymmetry, but it could be better.  It's also hard to get a very accurate shot of this, as I'm taking these pictures myself. 

However, if I wear a tank top with one of those "built-in bras" (there are no cups, it's just an extra piece of fabric with elastic on it inside the shirt), there is even more support.

If I were to wear JUST the zip-up sports bra I mentioned before, you get this picture where my asymmetry is notable. 

If I were to couple this zip-up sports bra with my regular bra:

Here is the result in the racer-back tank top with the LAYERED regular bra and zip-up sports bra:

You can see that just a sports bra alone isn't enough.  You really do need to couple it with a regular bra that fits fairly well.  Again, don't use your most expensive and favorite bra to go sweat in, but use one that does a decent job of hiding your asymmetry.  

Recently, I've found that Lane Bryant makes an absolutely interesting sports bra.  This is one of those times when I went, "FINALLY! Someone got it right!"  This bra adjusts on the STRAPS (I know, right?! FINALLY!).  

Lane Bryant's Link To This Bra (as of 12/23/13)

The only thing about Lane Bryant is that their sizes start at a 36C and go up, so if you're a very petite woman, this site might not work for you.  However, if you're average to full-size, this site might be a tremendous help.  (Also, consider that Lane Bryant has bras with removable padding. This might be extremely helpful)  These straps don't quite give you the adjustable flexibility that a traditional bra does, but this is a huge step in the right direction.  If I remember correctly, the bra had only a small amount of padding, and didn't provide and push-up in the cup, but inserts are available for cups! 

Another bra I came across was this one, and it seems to give a lot of adjust-ability, which is lovely. 

The link to the Natori Power Yogi Convertible Underwire Sports Bra (as of 12/23/13)

This bra seems to be very beneficial, however I'm not able to see how much it's padded, if at all.  

I hope this helps with sports bras!  

Remember, asymmetry is not an excuse for not getting in shape.  When it comes to gym class, working out at the local gym, or even breaking a sweat outside, what it boils down to is that you're working out for YOU.  Workouts aren't a fashion statement, and they surely aren't a beauty pageant.  You're beautiful, and you're working hard to make yourself more beautiful while working out.  Stay strong! 

It's All About The Lift

When we're talking about bras, the most important aspect that women, asymmetric or not, need to understand is that the right size MATTERS.  You should NOT be running around in a bra that's not fit for you.  At this day in age, when a woman can walk into numerous different retailers and be fitted for a bra, it's almost inexcusable that women are still wearing bras that don't fit them right.  Any woman can walk into a Victoria's Secret or Lane Bryant, for example, and ask to be fitted for a bra.  They'll give you, at the very least, a starting point for what you SHOULD be wearing.  You can go from there.

Now, let's get into the nitty gritty on bras.  As I have posted before, when you're asymmetric, padding is your best friend.  The catch here is that it's not JUST about padding.  You can buy a bra that's so padded it makes Serta Pillow Top  Mattresses look like plywood, but if it's not the right fit, you're still back at square one.  So, when we're talking about SIZES here's what we're talking about: 

* The Band Size: The distance around your rib cage JUST under your breasts.

* The Cup Size:  The distance around your the center of your breasts.  The difference between the Cup Size and the Band Size will be what we're looking for.  If you measure a Band Size of 36" and a Cup Size of 40", the difference is 4" and that will correspond to a D cup bra.

Now, these measurements aren't always correct, and that's why I urge women to go to someone who is trained in how to do bra fittings.  If you'd rather do it at home, this WikiHow page and this HerRoom page do a great job of detailing the measuring process. 

You might be saying, "That's all fine and well, Danielle, but I'm asymmetric! Those measurements won't work for me!"  I hear ya!  Here's the thing: you MUST be in the proper bra size for your larger breast.  This might seem counter-intuitive, I know, but go with me here for a second.

The bulk of your bra's support should come from the BAND AROUND YOUR CHEST.  Now, as someone with asymmetry, I'm thinking, "no it shouldn't, it's the straps," but that's not the case.  You see, if your bra doesn't fit right around your ribs, then you run the risk of your bra sliding down constantly.  We can't have this.  This SHOWS asymmetry way more than you could ever imagine.  So, you have to get the right BAND size.  Now, when it comes to the cups, you have to fit to your larger breast.  HOWEVER, there's a catch to this.  I am a 34DD, but many of the 34DD bras don't work so well for me.  My implant/weirdo boob/asymmetric breast might sit nicely in a 34DD, but my natural breast is spilling out like a glass of pop that was poured too fast!  This is about the time where the panic starts to set in.  You start having that meltdown and your eyes well up with tears.  Calm down, I say!  There's a secret!  Bras have "sister sizes," which is probably the best gift to asymmetry the industry could have given.  So, let's say your larger breast doesn't like a 34DD, and you're getting some weird muffin-boob thing going on.  Try on a 36D instead!  Now, you might be saying, "I didn't measure a 36, Danielle. I measured a 34, and I'm not a D, I'm a DD. I got measured like you told me to!"  Trust me.  If you go UP one band size, but go DOWN one cup size, it's almost like the same bra!  You can go DOWN one band size and UP one cup size if you feel like the cup is too small for your breasts, too.  So, you try on a 36D and you find that you have minimized muffin-boob/spillage for your larger breast, and your smaller breast will actually look different in the cup, too.  This provides just a little more room for your smaller breast, but allows your larger breast to fit more naturally into the cup.

Let's get to the straps now, shall we?
THERE IS ONE IMPORTANT NOTE I MUST MENTION!  YOUR BRA MUST MUST MUST HAVE FULLY-ADJUSTABLE STRAPS. This means that your bra cannot have some fancy design on the front of the straps and only allow you 4" of adjustment room in the back. This will not work and will in no way help your asymmetry.  You cannot use a bra that does not have fully-adjustable straps.  Fully-adjustable means that you could take the adjuster piece all the way to the front of the bra if you wanted to.  Again, your bra MUST HAVE FULLY-ADJUSTABLE STRAPS.

Now that you've been fitted with the CORRECT SIZE bra, we can talk about how to adjust your straps.  When we were picking the bra out, we catered to the LARGER breast, now we cater to the smaller breast in some ways.  So, if you have some pretty drastic asymmetry, this part will be pretty difficult.  For DRASTIC asymmetry (2 or more cup sizes), I'll address everything at the end of this post.  Drastic asymmetry has to be handled a little differently.  Don't worry, ladies, I'll handles those breasts, too!  No breasts are left out in my blog!

Adjusting the shoulder straps on a bra is one of the most important parts of hiding breast asymmetry.  Women seem to have this really weird notion that your straps absolutely must be adjusted to the same place on each side.  Who came up with that idea?  Why is symmetry so important in bra straps?  Your breasts aren't symmetric, so why do you think your straps need to be?  If you want to hide your asymmetry, you need to THROW THAT IDEA OUT THE WINDOW.  Do it. Right now. Throw it out.  Ok, now that it's gone, we can start fresh.  Everyone wants perky breasts.  Nobody has ever seen National Geographic-like boobs and said, "I want those!"  It's just never happened.

My Biggest Pet Peeve: STOP BUYING GREAT BRAS AND IMPROPERLY ADJUSTING THEM. YOUR BREASTS SHOULDN'T SAG IN A GOOD QUALITY $50 BRA! THERE IS NOTHING FLATTERING ABOUT BREASTS THAT DRAG THE FLOOR OR COVER YOUR BELLY BUTTON.  

Back when physics was discovered, mankind used physics to make the simple tasks of living far more enhanced.  The wheel was invented, levers and pulleys were utilized, gravity was fought with might and valor, and buildings that reached the heavens were erected and supported.  Somewhere along the way a bra was invented.  The first bra was weird, and really didn't serve any real purpose for support.

We now, however, have amazing bras with amazing support, and we have used the beautiful world of physics to start making our breasts defy gravity.  When I enter a room, I always want my breasts to enter before I do.  I want them to greet the people in the room with a friendly smile, and I want my breasts to be as though a halo of beauty entered the room.  While this is completely unrealistic and just a figment of my imagination, there is some reality to it.  When people see YOU, they also see your breasts.  Now, if you hide your asymmetry well, they'll never notice a thing.  However, that doesn't mean if you hide your asymmetry and you still have those mammary mounds hanging low that people won't notice that.  When you have asymmetry, you generally are self-conscious about it (it will go away eventually) and don't want to draw any attention (negative or positive) to your breasts.  Bras not worn right attract negative attention.  Period.

This brings me back to my original point: ADJUSTING YOUR STRAPS.  Here we need to cater, somewhat, to the smaller breast.  Adjust that strap so that the breast is supported, but not so much that it's actually pulling the cup/band/bra upwards and your breast is falling out the bottom.  This should never happen. Ever.  Allow the smaller breast to be comfortable in the bra, but you do not want it to sag.  You do not want to feel like you have to keep pulling your bra strap back into your shoulder, either.  Bra straps shouldn't wander.  Once your smaller breast is where it should be, it's time to adjust your larger breast.  Start by bringing the adjustment on the strap to the same place your smaller breast is adjusted to.  This is important because you have to have them equal first to adjust from there.  More than likely your larger breast is heavier than your smaller breast, which means you will have some sagging when they're adjusted to the same spot.  This is good to note.  You should be able to see how much lower the larger breast sags, and that sag is the distance we need to cover.  Start to bring the adjustment on your strap of the larger breast towards the top.  Do this in slow increments and adjust your breast within the cup each and every time.  Do not just lift up the adjuster, and leave your breast as it is.  You must pick it up and adjust it back in the cup properly.  Keep adjusting until the vast majority of the sag difference in the cup is changed.  Now bring your attention to the cleavage of the bra.  Make sure that if you were to wear a low-cut shirt that your breast fullness looks even.  If you feel that your smaller breast looks more full than your larger breast, start bringing that strap up more.  Keep in mind, you can always place an insert into the cup of the smaller breast to fill it out more, and the insert can always be placed under the smaller breast to give it more lift/fullness.  Fullness is a huge part of hiding asymmetry.  You want your breasts to look equally just as full.  Once you get the straps where the breasts look equally just as full, put your shirt on and see if everything looks good.  Keep in mind that you know you're asymmetric.  The rest of the world doesn't.  They aren't going to notice a minor difference like you will.  Sometimes it's helpful to put a safety pin in your strap just under the adjuster to keep them in place, as they can sometimes slip back down, or mark your strap in some way so you know where to adjust it to.  Bras will settle and stretch and relax over time, so you will always have to adjust them again. 

For the women with drastic asymmetry:

Really, not that much will change here.  If you're dealing with a 2 cup or more difference, the biggest thing that you'll likely need to do is use an insert.  If you've purchased for your larger breast, which you should, and it's, for example, a D cup, and your smaller breast is only a B cup, you can still make this work.  My recommendation for drastic asymmetry is to buy a bra that has only moderate padding and isn't too much of a push-up.  This allows you to actually use a push-up pad in the cup of your smaller breast to make the breast appear to be just as full as your larger breast.  It's all about tricking the eyes, ladies.  Make sure the smaller breast is padded on the UNDER side of the cup to provide lift and support, then fill the front of the cup with any additional padding as needed.  Some bras have the ability to easily remove the padding, but I wouldn't recommend removing too much padding from the larger breast, because one being held in a thin cup and one being in a padded cup is a noticeable difference.  You'll adjust your straps just the same, and not much will change except how you deal with your smaller breast.  Here, you might want to try "sister sizes" as well, maybe even adjusting by either two band and cup sizes, IF it works for you.  Not all bras will work by two size adjustments.  (Example: If you should be a 36D, going to a 32DDD, or maybe even to a 40B. Again this, more often than not, doesn't work well, but I have seen it work for some women. It will be specific to the store and their product line.  Again, remember, the most important part of support is the BAND under your breasts and not the straps.  You want to make sure that you're still correctly fitting yourself so that way your larger breast doesn't just start wandering around like a dog off the leash.  You don't want a boob peeking out from under your bra for some fresh air. That's never been flattering, and I can say that from personal experience.  I've had it happen to me! 

While right now I'm only asymmetric by about a cup size, my biggest problem with my current asymmetry is that my implant does not sit right, and it wants to wander.  However, I can speak from personal experience on even drastic asymmetry, as I had a nearly two and a half cup size difference for a good part of my life.  I'm not speaking about breasts as an outsider putting her two cents in, I'm speaking to you ladies as someone who has HAS these problems, and as someone who has FOUND SOLUTIONS to these problems.

Keep those breasts looking beautiful!  

The Hidden Part Of Asymmetry Nobody Talks About: The Mental And Emotional Stress

I've spent my entire adult life hiding my asymmetry from the world, and I've done so fairly well.  However, just under the surface there lies a tormenting secret about breast asymmetry: it's mentally and emotionally stressful.

Again, my story with breast asymmetry began before I was 14 years old (I had my first surgery at age 14).  This is a time of a girl's life when she's going through puberty, developing her sexuality, dealing with the weird social dramas of school, and, of course, totally wanting the cutest boy in the school to ask her out.  When you're struggling with breast asymmetry, especially at such a young age, it's almost as if you have a dark cloud hanging over your development.  Now, let's just be honest and forthcoming.  The pre-teen and teenage years are the most awful years for any female, asymmetric or not!  The added stress of uneven breasts doesn't help make things any easier, though.  

Many women, young and old, will relate to what I'm about to write, but this next part is designed for the enlightenment of the friends and family of those afflicted with breast asymmetry.  

When your daughter, sister, friend, etc. is struggling with this boob burden, try to understand what it's like from their side.  The very thing that, upon first impressions, identifies you as a female to the world is deformed.  Your femininity feels challenged, and you do what you can to hide it.  You're insanely self-conscious about people noticing your asymmetry, so you alter your attire, or even your posture, to keep your secret safe.  You almost feel afraid to draw attention to yourself, because then people look at you more and may notice your breasts are uneven.  You feel singled out and lesser than others.  The beautiful girls with even breasts are the ones that will get the attention of the males, and even if you are getting male attention, you're so afraid they'll reject you because of your secret, that you don't even notice their interest in you.  You feel almost as if you're unlovable.  Intimacy becomes a major fear.  How can you be intimate with someone when you'll have to provide an explanation about this huge shock they're in for when your shirt comes off?  You can't just go to the store and grab a cute shirt.  You can't just say, "ohh I want that swimsuit!"  You won't be the girl wearing no bra and a revealing evening gown at any point.  You are afraid to change in the locker room at school.  You don't think you'll ever feel sexy in lingerie.  You feel like Quasimodo, to be honest.  You think that every single time someone is looking at you, they're noticing your breasts.  

And even though it's unrealistic, untrue, and self-destroying, these are just the things you feel on a daily basis.  However, I'm here to tell you that it's all NOT TRUE.  

I was certain that everyone in my high school knew that I had uneven breasts.  I was picked on by several people, but for the most part, I just assumed it was an unspoken knowledge that I, Danielle, was the weirdo with the strange boobs.  As I got older and become more open about my story, it turns out that the entire school did NOT know about my asymmetry, and for the most part, those who did know, DIDN'T CARE.  I realized that all of these feelings of self-loathing were absurd.  Not every person you meet in life is going to be kind and docile.  Yeah, there will always be people who will make fun of you, but you have to brush it off.  In the end, that teasing and embarrassment only makes you stronger.  Those who cave to being taunted and teased are allowing their weakness to get the best of them, and they're letting their bullies know that their self-worth is derived from the people around them.  That should never be the case.  Even if your breast got lobbed off in some horrifying breast-cutting-off accident, that doesn't change who you are.  It can help SHAPE who you BECOME, but it won't just change you overnight.  You'll still like your favorite TV shows, you'll still like your favorite books.  You'll still think that guy with the glasses and the cute smile in your math class is really kinda cute in a geeky sort of way.  Don't cheat yourself from the opportunity to develop yourself and grow into someone beautiful and successful just because you were self-conscious.  Start trying on hundreds of different bras, even if it means breaking down and crying in the dressing room of Victoria's Secret because you're so frustrated.  Try on everything until you just can't take it anymore (then pick up where you left off the next day!), or until you find a bra that hides your asymmetry.  DO NOT QUIT ON YOURSELF.  Who cares if people know you have uneven breasts?  What difference does it make?  Does it mean you cannot ride a roller coaster?  Does it mean you cannot drive a car?  No!  It simply means you have a different sort of struggle to overcome.  

Believe it or not, I actually was dating someone for a while that had NO IDEA I had breast asymmetry.  No idea!  How does that even happen?  I'd actually told him about my asymmetry, but he forgot all about it, and never noticed it even when we were intimate.  

The whole idea about being unloved and unwanted is just a self-induced fear.  I have been with my fiance for just over three years, and we've been engaged since July 2013.  If you'd have asked me a decade ago if I ever thought someone would love me enough to propose to me, I'd have said, "No. I'm broken."  But, the only thing that was broken was my way of thinking.  I finally let someone love me for who I am.  That's the problem with asymmetry; the fear has such a tight grasp on you that it keeps you from allowing someone to love you for who you are.  You might think, "I just want someone to love me."  But the reality is that you subconsciously push them away in fear.  Learn to love yourself with your asymmetry!  Become someone's inspiration!  Don't let your breasts hold you back from being who you want to be in life.  I missed out on doing so many things because I was self-conscious.  Live!  You only get one chance at it!  Tell that cute geek in your math class that he's got a cute smile!  Be flirty!  Draw positive attention to yourself!  Let your beautiful personality be what people see most!  When you hide your personality, all they can see is your asymmetry, your fear, and your low self-esteem.  That's not an image you want to project.  Let them love your personality!  

Don't let breast asymmetry define you.  You want to make an impression with your personality and your boldness.  Sometimes that alone is the best cover-up for asymmetry a girl can ever wear. 

Back To Beautiful Boob Basics - I'm Asymmetric Again

If you've followed this blog at all, you're aware of my bountiful breast story.  For those of you who are new and will see this post as the first glimpse into this blog, I'll quickly give a recap of the history.

*  Age 14, my right breast was significantly larger than my left breast, so I had a reduction.
*  Reduction didn't go as planned, and my nipple had to be removed.  I say that my nipple was KIA (killed in action).
*  I had a skin graft taken from my thigh to "recreate" a nipple for me.  Thankfully, they did shave it first.  Hairy nipples are unbecoming.
*  Roughly 5 years later, when I was 18, I had an implant put in my right breast, because the reduction had actually taken out too much breast tissue, so I was STILL asymmetric.
*  Implant had started to develop contracture, started to sit higher and was somewhat painful.
*  Nearly 8 years had gone by since my implant was "installed,"  and it decided to rupture and completely deflate.
*  In January 2013, I had surgery to remove the ruptured implant, remove the scar tissue capsule that had formed around it, and place a new implant in.


This brings us to June 2013.  I've never been bashful about my dislike for my implant since it was replaced in January.  I decided to call my surgeon's office to discuss with them what my options are, right now, with this current implant predicament.  I'm finding that the implant is too full, per se.  It makes my right breast look much fuller, and thus larger than my natural breast.  The breast isn't fitting right in bras, I can't wear anything strapless, and I'm struggling with wearing the swimsuit I wore last year.  This implant seems to sit higher than my last implant did, even with having contracture. I'm not happy.  After years of having semi-normal breasts, I'm back to basics with a breast that refuses to play nice.

I'm not proud of what I'm about to say, but I suppose that other women in my situation might feel this, and it's important to discuss it.  I have known I was dissatisfied with my breast for several months, but I've been too afraid to contact the surgeon until now.  There's a part of me that feels like I'm being selfish for wanting "normal" breasts.  There's a part of me that feels shame for wanting to fix the very thing I'm trying to hard to help other women hide.  I know how to hide asymmetry incredibly well, but one thing I have forgotten about with asymmetry is the mental distress it causes.  This is another topic I'll have to blog about next.  I feel as though maybe this is the epiphany I was supposed to have; I'm supposed to help another woman suffering such mental anguish from asymmetric breasts.  Maybe this is God's plan for me, and who am I to change those plans?  The rational part of me says that notion is absurd, but there is still a part of me that feels guilty for wanting to have symmetry.

So, for now, I'm back to the clever disguises of the breasts.  I'm still bearing cleavage like I'm a Kardashian, but for every ounce of confidence it appears I exude, there were countless hours of struggle, tears, frustration, screams, cries, and ten thousand outfits to get me to where I am right now.

The Flat Tire Repair And Recovery

To catch you up on what's happening in my Asymmetric life I'll give you a very brief recap:

• In mid-December, my under muscle saline implant ruptured
• The ruptured implant drained leaving me with a missing boob
• The ruptured implant was protruding under my skin and causing extreme pain
• The surgeon determined that I had capsular contracture, a condition where the scar tissue capsule that forms around the implant actually squeezes the implant
• I had surgery on Jan 9, 2013 to remove the ruptured implant, remove the capsule of scar tissue that had formed around the implant, and to replace the implant. 

So, it's March 5, 2013 and I'm finally starting to get closer to being back to normal.  After surgery the pain was pretty intense.  I had to have a drain tube put in to help get the massive amount of fluid out of the breast, and I had that drain tube in for just over a week.  I ended up with two incisions, one under my armpit (in an existing keloid scar) for the drain tube, and one that runs vertically on my breast (also through an existing keloid scar) spanning from the bottom of my nipple to to my rib cage.  Dealing with the post-operative pain was pretty tough, but the bottom part of my main incision was causing me a lot more pain than almost anything else.  

This diagram shows how my breast would look from a frontal view.  I have scars from my first surgery at #1 and #2.  This surgery made another incision through scar #1 to do the implant removal, capsule removal, and implant replacement.  The purple arrow indicates the place where I was having an intense amount of pain.  The drain tube would leave my body under my armpit, but the tube (internally) followed the top curve of my breast and came down (moving clockwise) almost to the incision.  I had an immense amount of swelling, even after the drain tube was removed, and the pain at the bottom of the incision (the purple arrow point) was getting worse.  I went in two weeks after surgery to have my stitches and Steri Strips removed, and I explained that the pain was still really bad.  As she removed the strips, the bottom of my incisions came back open, and I leaked every bit of 200 mLs of fluid.  I was stitched up again in the office, covered with Steri Strips again, and put back on restricted activity for another two weeks.  

After two weeks, I went in to get my second set of stitches out, but I was still having a lot of pain at that site. I was still very swollen, and my implant was sitting differently than it had before, so it seemed as if all the pressure in my breast was being carried right on that incision.  Prior to this surgery, incision #2 was fully under my breast and spanned from the middle of my chest to under my armpit.  Now, because of how this implant sits, incision #2 actually is on my breast about 1/2" from my rib cage.  I'm assuming that, because of how different the implant is positioned in my breast, the pain is being caused by increased pressure to that one spot.  The incision healed, but was/is still very vulnerable for another few weeks because of my Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.  

I'm not completely satisfied with how my breasts look in clothes.  I feel like my implant sits higher in the pocket than the last one did, causing my breast to appear fuller at the top than my  natural breast.  This is probably because of the capsular contracture I had prior to my rupture.  The capsular contracture caused my previous implant to sit VERY high up on my chest for quite a while.  This caused the pocket to expand much higher than before.  

My surgeon thinks that the skin will continue to relax and allow the implant to fall a little in the next few months, but if it doesn't improve, I'm going to consider going back in to have the implant moved to a point that I don't look so asymmetric in clothing.

Unfortunately my insurance didn't see removing this ruptured implant and mass of scar tissue as a procedure deemed medically necessary, so this cost me over $5,000.  I was blessed that my parents helped me pay for this, and the implant was free from the manufacturer.  However, this was not something that was cosmetic, and putting the implant in to begin with wasn't cosmetic.  Because of how different my breasts were, I had altered how I carried my shoulders to hide my asymmetry, and I had thrown my back out of alignment, and the doctors were concerned it would cause permanent damage.  Either way, unless you have a history of breast cancer, it seems that getting anything done to correct asymmetry is considered cosmetic, no matter what damage it is causing to you physically.  From a medical standpoint, I can kind of understand it, but I feel that if the asymmetry is bad enough it's causing physical problems, it should be assisted by insurance.  

Either way, I'm on the road to recovery and have a lot of new ways to hide asymmetry to share with everyone!  I attended my best friend's wedding with my "flat tire boob" before I was able to get in for surgery, and I didn't do too bad!  More to come! 

Before Surgery:

The drain tube: 

Rocking my ruptured implant at a wedding:

You can tell my right breast is a little different (because it's deflated), but I think I hid it pretty well